October 07, 2022
I was on my way home from the Elementary School, when I witnessed a confrontation between two boys. I recognized one of the boys from the route my son and I walk home. (background) In the past I had spoken to this particular young boy and others because I observed them break dancing on the sidewalk one afternoon during our walk home. One time I thought I would impress my 5 year old and break dance with them, so I did some fancy foot work and got down on the side walk and shared my dance with the boys, their reaction was, "thats cool", & my son gave me a high five and said, "Dad your cool." On other occasions I observed the young boys play fighting and wresting in the grass. I made sure they were not fighting and suggested they not hit each other the hardest when playing. The boys responded with apologies to each other.
On October 07, 2011 my son and I were on our same route headed home and I observed two of the boys facing off and they looked serious like they were gonna really fight. At first I walked on by them but kept my eye on the aggressor. I hadn't gotten two steps past the boys when the aggressor struck the other boy violently in the face. I immediately sprang into action and demanded the aggressor to go his way!
I consoled the boy that had been hit, and asked him was he ok? He responded with tears in his eyes
"yes,"
As the aggressor turned the corner he shouted back at us,
"I’m gonna get you at home, I know were you live."
I shouted back no you will not! Go home now, or I will get the principal! He walked on his way.
When all this is happening, I noticed that a member of the school staff was watching the whole thing unfold not even 5 feet from her post, but the staff member did nothing.
I made eye contact with her and the staff member said, "thanks."
I shouted back we need to do something about the kids fighting and bulling each other because children are dying over this issue!
The staff member gave me the calm down signal.
I walked on with my two sons. On the route home we again encountered the victim of the bulling episode. The victim was in a yard crying and punching a wall. I again stopped and began to counsel the victim with these words:
"Young man you did the right thing! Dont be angry you are the bigger man. I’m so proud of your reaction to turn the other cheek, and try to walk away. Sometimes in life it cost us to be the bigger person, today it cost you a blow to the face, but he hit like a girl, you are ok.
The victim began to smile.
"Your gonna be ok, get on your bike and go home.
The victim replied,
"but he is gonna come to my house; he knows where I live."
I replied, "dont you have parents at home?”
He replied, "my mom and dad are divorcing, my dad dont live at home and my mom is not there now.
I replied "then we need to go back up to the school and tell the principal the name of the bully and she will help you.
The victim said" No they will not do any thing they never do!"
I replied, “lets give it a shot and I will go with you and explain it for you.” I know the principal she will help you I'm sure.”
He agreed and we went back to the school with my two sons and myself. Once in the office I explained to the secretary's what had happened, and they responded by going into the principal office and informing the principal, I was out front with the child and wanted to see her.
The secretary came back out and informed me that the principal was just about to go into a faculty meeting and could not respond at this moment. The secretary took my number and informed me the principal is going to call you when she gets out of her meeting.
"I promise she will call you," replied the secretary.
I replied, “what about the victim?”
The school secretary replied, "I am calling his mother to come pick him up."
I waited for the mother to answer and confirm she was in-fact coming to get him, and I went back on my route home. On the route home my son and I discussed the days events.
Once I reached home I got a call from someone who represented themselves as the Dean of the Elementary School. The conversation went like this:
Dean: Can I speak to Mr. xxxxx,
Me: This is Mr. xxxxx
Dean: I was informed that you observed an altercation between two students of ours
Me: Yes
Dean: What was the place of the altercation on campus or off campus
Me: Close to the fence and 5 feet from one of your staff members,
Dean: Yes I have mrs ??????? here and I am getting her version of the incident
Me: Yes the staff member saw what I saw, so what happens next?
Dean: Well there are things we have to do to determine if the situation rises to the level of discipline and if in fact it does we have to follow the code of conduct established by the Orange County School policy.
Me : Why did you call me?
Dean: I was under the impression you asked for me to call you
Me: No Sir. I did not ask you to call me. I was promised by the secretary the principal would call me, in response to my request to see her in her office today, do you need my statement in writing?
Dean: No I have it here.
Me: Can I say one thing without being rudely interrupted? (the dean continually cut me off mid sentence even after I listened to his response without interruption.)
Dean: yes
Me: YOU CANNOT EDUCATE A DEAD CHILD!, YOUR FACULTY WILL BE WITH YOU YEAR AFTER YEAR, BUT WITH THESE CHILDREN YOU ONLY HAVE A SMALL MOMENT IN TIME. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONSOLE A PARENT WHO HAS LOST A CHILD BECAUSE YOU DID NOT ACT IN A TIMELY MANNER, WITH POLICY AND PROCEDURE, AND BUREAUCRACY. SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE TO SAVE THE CHILDREN. WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF THE VICTIM TODAY WENT HOME AND FELT AS IF NO ONE CARED AND KILLED HIMSELF?
Dean: good-day--disconnected---------------------
Me: hello, hello ?
(these are actual events not fictional)
On Friday, October 3, 2011
I called and left a message on the superintendents answering machine requesting a call back from the bureaucracy that runs our public school. I received a message on my voice mail with in 24 hours.
On Friday, October 7 , 2011 I received a call from the principal and the dean on a conference call. (the dean never spoke a word) The principal followed the disciplinary code to the letter. The principal informed me of her measures and I thanked her for her response.
On October 10th and 11th, the victim passed my sons and I and again mentioned that he was still being bullied. I asked did the school help and he replied no they dont care!
I am in the process of constructing an Emergency Provision to the disciplinary code called :
SAFE HAVEN FOR CHILDREN:
If a child is returned to the school by a parent or a staff member his parents will be notified and kept at the school until he can be picked up by a parent or guardian.
- That child will be transported to and from school until the child deems it safe to take other forms of transport(walking,bicycling,)
- If a further altercation takes place the aggressor must be relocated to another school.
Ideas :
Why cant disciplinarians ride the school buses like marshals ride on planes?
Why cant the dean of the school be available until all children are safe at home?
No comments:
Post a Comment